Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Crazy Lady on the Freeway

So, I'm driving down I-10 and I see something moving on the windshield. It was dark so I wasn't sure what it was but I was sure it was alive. My heart stopped beating. I stopped breathing. Jake was asking me questions and I was just nodding because I was scared to open my mouth and have a bug fly in. Jake told me to start talking because we make him answer us with words instead of nods. I told him there was a bug and he asked what it was. I told him I wasn't sure but that it was bigger than a fly and smaller than a roach. I don't do bugs. I don't smash bugs. I buy spray that will go like 50 feet because there is no way I'm getting close enough to touch it with a shoe. I sweep poisoned bug out the back door with a broom. Anyway, at exactly that moment it took off. And landed on my head. I couldn't even scream. I decided the best reaction would be to pull over and jump out of the car waving my arms like an idiot. In the middle of rush hour traffic. In the 4th largest city in America. The only other option was to swerve across 6 lanes of traffic in an attempt to get the bug to fly away. Sitting calmly until I got home was not an option. I got back into the car, drove home and opened the passenger side door. The bug was sitting on the handle. Jake smashed it with his hand and walked away. 'That is how men do it, Mom.'
This kid is zero drama...unless you break his Legos.
Also, our neighbor just got dropped off from a date. I heard the guy's truck running for a while so I finally looked outside. It is a serious goodbye...I had to fight the urge to make a scene outside to distract them. Time to go home buddy. It is a school night.

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